My name is Jess, Skittles, that weird quiet girl over plotting our murder over there and occasionally Ashley (since people say I look like an Ashley?). I won't be too elaborate because describing myself to the T is not my forte. I'm just an average young brown woman trying to get thru in life, trying to find my place in this crazy world. Of course I probably screwed up my chances of having an identity among people, since I have NO HAIR. Ok ok I do have hair but it's in the form of a short baby fro, which will keep coiling, curling, growing outward like a Chia Pet (totally love them!), but who cares what others think is to which why I was able to start on my natural hair journey.
When I was young, just like every young woman of my kind, we would dread the wash day that would revert our tresses to nothingness, and then get that hot comb, press -n- curl, whatever may be. I remember I would hide from my grams, I lost count on how many times my scalp was burnt along with my ears. It all stopped till I got my first chemical treatment at the age of 10, which continued 14yrs till I decided on December 7th, 2012 that this process has to stop. I use to have so much hair, so much life in my roots. I didn't think of what was going on, all I cared was when I'm getting my next relaxer to kill my unruly roots.
As I got older I got wiser in other areas, but was so naïve about my hair. I was blind to the damage, thinking that it's ok for my hair fall out a little...but not leave strands on my pillow, sink, clothes almost everyday. "My hair just shedding" <--complete denial I was in. It's ok for it to burn a lil bit, the scabs will go away, or my edges will thin a lil bit but will grow back. I watched my hair get shorter....and shorter...watch my ends crunch up, thinking its the way I've been sleeping, when it was when I was constantly applying heat all the time. It was when I was tagged in some facebook photos and compared them to photos years ago, that I saw the damage that was done and thought something's gotta give.
I tried transitioning before beginning of 2012, but got so scared about going thru with it, I ran for that chair and that creamy crack. I felt so ashamed of myself, but after reading on a natural forum site and some blogs, the same females that have big beautiful natural hair, went thru the same issues and fell off the bandwagon not once, twice but many times! It's hard to uproot yourself from a routine performed so long, so take time and research. Which is what I did to better prepare myself. So I stopped the perms when I was ready last year, just let my hair grow out. I slowly dropped the frequency of the flat iron, learned how to deep condition, which products are yay or nay. I was feeling good about this journey, but of course like many I wouldn't big chop.
Oh lordy I would have a heart attack if I cut my hair. I swore up and down that I wouldn't. I would only chop if my hair was long enough. So I long termed transition....which only lasted till August 2013 after having a horrible detangling session. I was doing my regular shampoo and DC as I always did each week, this time it was different. My hair knotted up so much, it didn't matter how I approached it or what I put in it. I had a handful of hair staring at me in the sink, I nearly damned choked! I had sat myself down to think, and I felt that it was time to let go of my hair. That was my problem, worrying about what others would think so I was like "damn everyone else. Hair grows back". On August 27th 2013 I did my BC. My beautician's daughter thought I had lost my mind, nope I had opened my mind. It took a few hours to watch my hair go from shoulder length to nearly damn bald is what my cousin told me. I thought I would hate it, be shocked, cry but I loved it! Like LOVE IT!
Many of my friends love it (and if they lied I still thank them for their compliment. It's the thought that counts). But the one person who I wished I've gotten more positive feedback was my boyfriend. He took one look at my head and was like "...It's very short..." and then became a lil withdrawn. Which is to be expected, I wouldn't blame him if I came up to his house with hair two buzz cuts away from being his length. Slowly but surely he's getting use to it, even likes touching it sometimes, complementing on how soft it is.
Well that's my long story. Although I am newly natural...I still don't always know what the hell I'm doing. All I can do is follow on how my Chia Pet of hair feels, give these curls and coils some good good luvin' and always keep researching and learning. Learning is a growing process, it never stops. I hope that not only to use this blog to document my journey, but to inspire other females wanting to leave that burning sensation of the head, that it's ok. It's just hair, it will all grow back and damn what's in those magazines.
Skittles signing out!
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