Monday, January 5, 2015

New Year, New Me. Let's Talk About "Good Hair"

First is foremost, Happy New Year! I've been busy tying things up before the close of 2014. Now that it's a whole new year, I have a fresh clean slate to do things that I would love to try. New hair practices, maybe products, hobbies. Whatever it may be I want 2015 to be 3x more awesome than 2014. To update, I am a year and four months natural. Two years without a relaxer or any chemicals. As well as I am at the collarbone length/awkward stage with my natural hair. I will have to post a photo or two in another post, since I do not have the crappy BlogSpot app on my new phone. The winter so far in my city, has been so far generous to my hair. Although the longer it gets, the dryer it is starting to feel to me. So I do have to step up my game in 2015. I almost always keep my hair stretched, don't like to let it do its thing completely....unless I want to have a massive ball of tangles and I think I am due for my three month trim anyways. I am still using my whipped shea butter mix, and experimenting with texture and consistency of my concoction. Other than that, I wanted to go into the topic of "Good hair".

Good hair. Good hair? What is it? Naturally many black girls would think a white person's, or someone with looser curl texture. I will admit when I was young, I was conditioned that way too. This memory surfaced when my cousin looked at my hair as I was letting it down to style it. She said "Man you got a lot of hair and it's shiny. You got that good hair.", I would thank her for her compliment but remind her that anyone can have "good hair." Then she said to me on two separate occasions: "Your hair is sooo curly. You mixed with something, I don't know what but you're definitely mixed, you got that good hair."

........See that's the type of nonsense that pissed me off. I was like mixed with what? Both my parents are black? Just because my hair is curly and shiny doesn't mean I am mixed. And so what of it? My genes doesn't cover if I will have "good hair" or not. People good hair comes from good hair practices. If you take care of your hair, it will look radiant. If not then it'll look poor. That is good hair to me. We need to get it out of our hairs, and stop saying phrases like "Oh I can't do this with my hair, I got that slave hair." or "My hair is too nappy to do anything!". If I ever have a daughter, I will teach her to value herself, and the crown she wears. The media/society brainwashes females of color, or anything what is deemed beautiful. I am no longer a victim of this. I could care less what people may think of my hair. If you don't like it, too bad.

That's basically it about that subject. I just wanted to put my thoughts into text, because it's been a ongoing issue in the world as well with me. I just don't believe you are born with good hair, its something you have to work for it by taking care of it. I want to share an extra story too:

About two weeks ago or so, I am tired from Christmas shopping and the only two things on my mind is food and sleep. So I go to Tim Hortons to grab me a bagel. As I am in line waiting, someone behind me says: "So you're into that nappy look huh?" I turn around and say "Excuse me?" and he said it again. Now anyone that knows me my two hated words, that I rarely use is "nigga" and "nappy". Nappy to me is matted, unmanageable hair. It was always such a insult used when I was a child. I know some naturals love calling their hair that and I respect that. But I don't call my hair that nor want it to be called it. I call it thick, curly, kinky. I explained to the man I don't take kindly to that word. He at first apologized and said they say it in Boston......but then continued to call my hair nappy, saying that his daughter wears it nappy, and that's what it's called nappy. If you don't have a perm, then its nappy. You know people in Ghana and Senegal wear their hair like yours. I could care less if they wore peacocks on their heads. The man showed no remorse and told me I shouldn't take it so seriously. At this point in time, it wasn't the fact that he used the word and I asked him nicely not to use it describing my hair. It was the fact that he was verbally forceful with it and still disrespecting me. You apologize, then continue to say that I am wrong and my hair is nappy. I had to leave Tim's before I cuss this man out fully.

Some just don't know anything. Other than that, happy new year again and see you on the flip side!